lesbians, gays, b-bicycles…. *sweats* trains
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Touchy girls are my favorite
Grab my hand, I don’t care if you have to take my phone out of it. Make me look, if you want a kiss then turn my head by my jaw. Pull me close, it doesn’t matter wether it’s by my hips or my collar. Like put a hand on my thigh, no motive needed. I’m all over that shit.
On my mind
I realized today that for my dad’s side of the family, they can’t know that I am bisexual.
They would never be okay with it because they were never okay with my great aunt being gay.
She was an amazing whose family closeted her sexuality. We all knew she was gay, but no one talked about it.
I always had an open minded family but until today, I realized my family is not opened at all. My dad’s family hid my aunt from everyone because it wasn’t “right” to them.
I can’t tell them I am bi because they would do they same to me, sad but true.
My mom’s side could care less. My dad’s mother could care less. My dad’s father and his family could care. I wish they would be more open minded but they won’t.
It’s a sad thing to except. And I shouldn’t have to but I do. It’s a tragic thought.
Close
I’m close to moving out,
I’m close to bettering myself,
I’m getter closer to becoming someone I want to be for the rest of my life.
What’s holding me back?
Myself, probably.
My lack of love life.
Pressure.
Things getting in the way.
People.
Not pushing myself in the right direction.
I need this.
I need to be my own person.
I want this.
But, I am my own enemy.
My own enemy in life.
Coffee shop thoughts
Instead of posting this, I should be doing my chemistry but my mind is in full wonder and I need to place my thoughts somewhere.
I moved away from home to get away and go to school. I got a job so easily and now I am jobless with a second preliminary interview for another company which, thank the lord, is today. But it got me thinking, is my luck starting to run out?
I live two hours away and scraped by due to my last job paying a dollar less than my previous job and now, I have no job and am waiting to get call for interviews and hoping (and praying) that I get something, it’s like that two week period this past summer where I had nothing but was hoping for something and I am at that stage again.
I feel like my luck may be running thin and I need to be more positive but it just seems to me I am running low on steam and time before I have nothing.
I just need good vibes and my roommates give them to me but I just feel like I need a little more. I’m an emotional wreck but am keeping it inside. Because it’s kind of what I do best (whoops).
But I hope I get something. Hopefully.
🤞🏻
The signs as Willam Belli quotes
- Aries: "Your tone seems very pointed right now."
- Taurus: "BAR QUEEN! BAR QUEEN!"
- Gemini: "My boat is the best...my boat is pretty."
- Cancer: "I need a nap and some dick."
- Leo: "Emotions are for ugly people."
- Virgo: "NURSE!"
- Libra: "I'm bringing attention to one of my favorite causes which is me..."
- Scorpio: "I'm trying to get a window seat on my way to hell."
- Sagittarius: "I'm a successful drag queen and not some bitch who has to show for a dollar."
- Capricorn: "Eat a whole bowl of fucks."
- Aquarius: "the hardest part of this challenge is not telling everybody else that I'm gonna win."
- Pisces: "Shut your ugly boat mouth."
IF YOU CANT HANDLE ME AT MY WORST, JUST REMEMBER THAT I HANDLE ME AT MY WORST AND THAT MAKES ME STRONGER THAN YOU
Oh my goodness this makes me feel powerful I hadn’t even thought of it like this.
I have nothing.
I literally feel like my whole life has fallen apart at this moment and every time I try to pick up the pieces, they just shatter into smaller pieces.
I was suppose to live with my roommate this year, around May. Just the two of us. But he changed his mind and said he doesn’t want to spend the money and blah blah blah, leaving me without a roommate and a 3 month deadline.
My other two roommates are going to takeover our current house in May, which basically gives me the boot. So I have to come up with a way to make more money and move out.
This literally kills me.
I feel like I have nothing. I have no one to fall back on and I just want to burst into tears.
I don’t want to really talk to any of them but I put on a happy face and pretend I’m okay, when I am absolutely not. It’s like I don’t exist and they just don’t care.
It hurts. I hurt.
I don’t know what to do.
I am lonely again.
Sitting silently,
The breeze hounds at my window
And rattles wooden frames.
There are birds in the rafters
Making a mess of the plums.
Summer fruit spills
Like blood from the ceiling,
Dripping
In anguish.
Oh, my heart wishes
That this body was a home.
The way it speaks of silence
Says it all.
I watch through my window,
Four years,
The world spins faster
Every time.
I am lonely again
And I can’t seem to shake
This fruitless winter
That has swallowed me whole.
poeticallyordinary (via poeticallyordinary)